The Science Backed Secrets to Pickleball Popularity

How Social Intelligence—Not Just Shots—Wins You Points With People

Want to be the person everyone’s happy to see at the pickleball courts? You don’t need a blazing serve or a reliable dink. According to behavioral researcher Vanessa Van Edwards, social intelligence—not just skill—drives popularity on and off the court. Her research-backed tips can help anyone go from “just another player” to the kind of person others gravitate toward. Here's how to apply her science of charisma to your pickleball life.

1. Use the “Open-Handed Hello”

Van Edwards teaches that first impressions are powerful, and body language leads the way. When you arrive at the courts, lift your hand in an open, visible wave. This nonverbal cue shows you’re friendly and approachable. In studies, people who used visible hand gestures when greeting others were rated as more warm and trustworthy.

2. Prioritize Being a “High-Value” Presence

Vanessa’s research found that the most popular kids in school weren’t always the best-looking or the most athletic. They were what she calls “high social value”: positive, reliable, and inclusive. One key to this? Micro-interactions. Small moments—saying hi, remembering someone’s name, asking how their game went—add up to a big social impact. Also: people who like more people tend to be more liked themselves. If you enter the courts with the mindset of noticing what you like about others, that warmth radiates and draws people in.

3. Use the “Triple Nod”

Want someone to feel heard? Try the triple nod while they’re talking. This subtle cue shows you’re engaged and encourages them to keep talking. On the court or between games, it can help build deeper connections with your partners and fellow players.

4. Watch Your Vocal Warmth

Your voice communicates more than your words. Vanessa’s research shows that vocal warmth—sounding interested and upbeat—makes a huge difference. Greet people with energy, ask how their last match went, and don’t underestimate the power of a sincere “good shot!”

5. Mirror (Subtly)

Mirroring body language is a time-tested way to build connection, and it works just as well at the courts. If your partner is upbeat and bouncy, matching their vibe helps build chemistry. Just don’t overdo it or it gets weird fast.

6. Give “Highlight Reel” Compliments

Instead of the generic “nice game,” try something specific and uplifting: “That backhand roll in game two was killer!” People remember those compliments and associate you with encouragement.

Pickleball is a social sport at its core. With a few smart tweaks to how you show up, you’ll become not just a better player—but the kind of person everyone wants to share the court with.