How to Manage Your Self-Talk on the Pickleball Court

Master your mind, and your game will follow

A week or so ago I got invited to play with the big dogs. The guys who like to hit hard, and can play the soft game. And I noticed a few things. Like  when I missed a drop into the net, I’d chide myself with a frustrated “ERIC!”, the other guys? Nope, they’d just move on. And not only was it their actual voice, but you could almost hear them thinking positively, even mid court. 

Self-talk has a direct line to performance. Positive, neutral, or negative, whatever you’re saying to yourself between points becomes the soundtrack of your play. And if your soundtrack sounds like a breakup playlist, you’re not exactly setting yourself up for success.

So how do you manage that chatter before it manages you?

1. Catch It Early

The first step is noticing the noise. You can’t change what you don’t hear. Start by paying attention to what you say to yourself after a missed shot. Is it “Come on, you idiot,” or “Okay, a little long, adjust next time”? That subtle difference matters. The first locks you into frustration; the second keeps you in learning mode.

If your self-talk sounds like you’re auditioning for your own roast, stop. Take a breath. Imagine how you’d talk to your doubles partner after the same miss. Odds are, you’d be kinder. (And if not, maybe that’s a different article.)

2. Swap the Script

Once you’ve caught the negative chatter, replace it with something more useful. Not toxic positivity—nobody needs to hear “You’re amazing!” after sending a return a foot out. Instead, keep it simple, calm, and directive:

• “Reset.”

• “Next ball.”

• “Move your feet.”

• “Stay loose.”

These short, neutral cues redirect your attention to what you can control instead of what already went wrong.

3. Talk Like a Coach, Not a Critic

Think of your self-talk as a between-points coaching session. Would a good coach say, “You always blow it on the big points”? No. They’d say, “Focus on your setup. Breathe. Trust the swing.” Your internal tone matters as much as the words. Keep it steady and encouraging, like you’re coaching someone you actually want to see succeed.

4. Build a Between-Points Routine

Finally, consistency helps. Have a mini reset after every rally—take a deep breath, tap paddles, look up, and say one short cue word to yourself. It can be “Calm,” “Focus,” or even “Smile.” (Yes, smiling works. It loosens your body and tricks your brain into confidence.) Sometimes Joyce and I say “back to basics”. This tends to calm us down and let us focus on just making the simplest shot, not going for something special.

The best pickleball players don’t just control their shots, they control their stories. And if you can get your self-talk to shut up and help out, you might find your game improving faster than your speedup.