Dear Eric - They Were Mean to Me

Dear Eric,

I went to play pickleball at some courts while visiting another town. I was excited to meet some new people and get some games in. But the locals weren't exactly welcoming. They seemed to have their own group, and I felt like an outsider. One person was downright rude. I left feeling like I wasn't welcome. What should I have done?

—Feeling Unwelcome

Dear Feeling Unwelcome,

First, I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Nobody likes walking onto a pickleball court and feeling like they've wandered into someone else's private club.

But before we declare the locals guilty of a pickleball crime, let's take a breath.

You were the visitor.

Every pickleball community develops its own culture. Maybe they have a particular paddle rotation, a way of organizing games, or a group of regulars who have been playing together for years. Open play systems can vary considerably from one place to another, so the first rule of visiting a new court is simple: watch, ask questions and figure out how they do things before jumping in.

And then there's the harder part: Be honest with yourself.

Were they actually excluding you? Or were they simply less outgoing than the group you're accustomed to? Did someone fail to invite you into a game, or did you assume they would? Was someone rude, or were they just direct about how their rotation works?

Sometimes there really is a little locals-only vibe. It's not necessarily admirable, but it happens. People form friendships around their courts, and not every group is equally eager to expand the circle.

That doesn't mean you have to love it.

Pickleball is supposed to be fun. If you make a genuine effort to understand the local culture, follow the rotation, be friendly and play nicely—and you're still treated badly—there's a very simple solution:

Don't go back.

There are too many great pickleball communities to spend your vacation playing somewhere that makes you feel unwelcome.

And remember: When you're the local, extend the same courtesy you'd hope to receive when you're the visitor.